Here, after years of research, the results of this comprehensive study, "Things That Are Better Than Other Things":
Trader Joes > Whole Foods
Joanna Newsom > Lady Gaga
Purple < Blue
The Atlantic > The New Yorker
Tigers < Lions
Fiction Writing > Screenwriting
Intolerance > Racism
Friends < Friends With Benefits
Friends With Benefits < Friends With Health Care Benefits
Korea > China
Printers > Copiers
Dogs > Cats
Cats > Slow Walkers
Left hand < Right Elbow
Walgreens > Right Aid
There you have it. I'm glad that this has settled all of the controversy in our world.
