Tuesday, June 22, 2010

On Moving

Haven't written in a while because I am moving and I am sad.

There is less than a week and everything's happening too fast. And I am moving...so...slow. Maybe a part of me just does not want to leave.

With that in mind...does anyone need a bookshelf? A cabinet? A stereo? These things are priceless to me. So you would pay equal to that amount.

Ah, the memories!

Or a futon? Perhaps...? Folds into a bed, but works as a couch. It's like getting two things for the price of one*! (*you would pay for the price of two)

The sadness! Of never seeing these things again! All I need is a good friend to take these things for a monetary amount equal to the sadness of parting with them; a true, kind, honest friend, to help me through this trying time.

But who is such a friend...?*


*Supplies are limited! Please contact me in this blog or on Facebook (please, no phone calls!) Accepts cash or check, with proper identification and proof of sustainable checking account. No refunds or exchanges. Offers based on the amount of love one has for Timothy. Friendship is very much at stake. Offer excluded for residents of Alaska and Hawaii.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Smart Humans or Dumb Aliens?

The Piri Reis Mystery

Piri Reis was a Turkish cartographer and admiral. He made this map, giving credit to past cartographers and his own calculations. He used as many as twenty ancient maps, some from as far back as the time of Alexander the Great.

This is the only half of the map that survives, which shows the coasts of Europe and Africa, parts of Brazil, and other Atlantic islands. Not to mention Antarctica. It is made from the skin of a gazelle.

And. It. Should. Not. Exist.

Why? Because it's from the 16th century. Because it shows landmasses that were unexplored, unknown at that time. And still, it is alarmingly accurate. Even undiscovered mountains and rivers are detailed on this map.

Even more chilling, to cartographers, is the illustration of the coast of Antarctica, not showing what it was like even when this map was made, but what it looked like millions of years before, when it was not covered in ice!

WHAT?

How is this so? Some say Aliens. Ancient Alien Astronauts that came down to Earth and helped past civilizations and provided them with tools, and, perhaps, accurately detailed maps.

This line of thinking follows the studies of Erich von Däniken, who wrote the classic, "Chariots of the Gods", which gave detailed theories on alien-human interaction in the ancient world, with evidence springing from the Egyptian Pyramids, the Babylonians, and Stonehenge.

I love this theory, sure, but it makes me wonder about the intelligence of these creatures and what purpose they had of arriving on Earth and helping us humans. What did they get out of the deal? And if they were willing to help us so much, why didn't they give us death rays or flying cars? Why am I not on Mars right now, talking with Bill, the Alien (shown pictured), about hyperspace?

These Aliens don't seem too smart to me. The problem remains - how many DUMB aliens do you know fly through space?

Answer: None. Which is why I think we're dealing with smart humans here, humans that knew a lot more than we think they did way back then. History is rife with human stupidity, but also with genius.

Who knows what people will think of us 300 years from now!

Will Humans or Aliens get credit for Twitter?

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Regarding Fish Brains

These are fish brains.

As you can see here, fish brains develop greatly in the optic lobes and cerebellum, which are concerned with vision and balance respectively.

Did you know that fish can't feel pain? Studies have shown that fish brains are not sufficiently developed to allow them to feel a sense of pain or fear. The awareness of pain, as these studies reveal, come from specific regions of the cerebral cortex, an area that fish do not contain.

As you can see from this diagram here, there is no cerebral cortex. I haven't mentioned the pituitary, which is a endocrine gland about the size of a pea, which sits in a bony cavity. It secretes hormones. The olfactory bulb, as we all know, transmits odors, and works the same and maybe even better for fish. The cerebrum is self-explanatory.

Studies have also shown that humans can manipulate the growth of fish brains. Fish bred in captivity have smaller brains then those in the wild. But if one were to put more variety in a fish tank, something as simple as stones, the fish will develop a significantly larger cerebellum. They nest around these stones and move around less, and become more like their free cousins.

Though eating fish itself has been proven to be healthy for the human brain, eating an actual fish brain is not recommended because of the fucking horrible taste.

And now you know about fish brains!