Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Dear Facebook,


Please tone it down with these hypothetical letters to non-human entities.  There is not a moment that I believe that you are actually writing a real letter on your Facebook status, nor do I believe that the creature that you have created in your mind that reads the letter actually exists to read it.  I do not believe that Microsoft is a being.  I do not believe the Weather can read your letter.  It's just not possible.

Also, if they actually did exist to receive your letters, if the Universe allowed such terror to come to be, if they actually came to consciousness, and breathed the same air as we, and experienced the pain that comes from life and death, the letters that they would receive from you would be incredibly rude and thoughtless.  They've already struggled enough just to be, and you're giving them shit?  What the fuck?  Don't we all make mistakes?  Do you write letters to everyone that has a bad day?

Please do not take offense.  I love you and need you, Facebook, and am guilty writing these letters myself.  I even wrote to Philadelphia on this very blog, and it shames me to think of what would have happened if Philadelphia had actually read what I have written.  All I'm asking is that we show a little courtesy and restraint.  Thank you.

Sincerely,

Timothy Moore