Sunday, March 27, 2011

Things That I Like Lately


Short Stories!  I've been reading some great short stories lately!  Authors I suggest: Joe Meno, Aimee Bender, Wells Tower, Brian Evanson, Mariko Nagai, Ryan Call, and Ofelia Hunt!  My goal has been to read at least one short story a day and I've done that and it makes me happy!

Potato Wedges from 711 at 12:37 at night, when I'm drunk!  Nothing is better to eat at 12:37 at night when you're drunk then potato wedges from 711 at night.  Fucking love them!

The Sun making it look like it's nice out but then when you go outside it's really cold and it's not nice!  Okay, I don't like this, but I do like complaining about it to friends and strangers.

Bad scary movies that sometimes turn out to be a little good, but then are bad again but in the best ways!  Warlock: Armageddon, Evil Dead 2, Hellraiser, Leprechaun.  These movies cheer me up when the Sun makes it look like it's nice out but when I go outside it's really cold and it's not nice!

Gatorade!  I have so many empty Gatorade bottles in my room that I'm starting to look like an eccentric genius.  Now I just have to save my nail clippings and cover the windows with a curtain made from my hair!

Comic Books!  Comic Books are fun!  Reading Fantastic Four lately (RIP, Human Torch), and a weird little comic called Xombie.  Simply fun!

Fantasia on a Theme of Thomas Tallis!  Classical piece composed by Ralph Vaughn!  Best thing to listen to on my IPod!  Makes even the most mundane activities, like eating chicken noodle soup at Panera, seem epic!

Chicken noodle soup at Panera!  I love that shit!

That feature on my laptop where I can put different documents on different sides on the screen and do two things at once!  The best feature!

The Library!  I've written three stories in there in the past month!  How can you not be inspired with all of the books surrounding you?!

Life!  Life is good, even though it's bad sometimes!  I like life and try to like the things in my life and you should too, but make it your own things, you don't have to like my things, even though you can!

Pillows!  I have three pillows on my bed!  I love grabbing onto them and throwing them all over the place at night!  The more pillows the better!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

If You Ask Me For Directions I Will Give You The Wrong Directions

Lost.  God Help Them.

If you are lost in a big city like Chicago, and you ask me for directions, as people always do, I will give you the wrong directions.

THIS IS NOT ON PURPOSE.

I do not know why people always ask me for directions.  I do not walk with confidence.  I do not look sure of anything.  I constantly am lost myself, and Chicago scares me most of the time.

But when people do ask, I can't help myself.  I want to help.  I want to feel like their savior, like I'm a good person.  I will not know where I am pointing to, but I will point them to.  And they will smile and be happy.  For a little bit.

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Sometimes I wonder where I've pointed them to.  Have I gotten them trapped in an impenetrable maze?


Or maybe I've pointed them straight to criminal masterminds, who have been waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike?


Or maybe they fall into a black hole and get stretched through eternity?


I don't know.  I don't want to know.  I just want to see their smiles and the affirmation that I give them that people are good, even for a little bit.  Is that so wrong?

Maybe.

You poor, oblivious, tourists.  You take your pictures.  You have your fun.


Just don't get lost.