Friday, September 2, 2011

HELP! I AM TRAPPED INSIDE THIS BLOG!



YOU! YES, YOU! YOU CAN HELP ME! NO NO - DO NOT GO AWAY - I AM NOT A BLOG - I AM A PERSON - A HUMAN BEING! 

THIS IS ME! HELP! BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!
AND I AM TRAPPED! FIND HELP! I THINK...I THINK MY LEGS ARE BROKEN. OH GOD OH GOD - DO I EVEN HAVE LEGS ANYMORE? WHAT HAVE I BECOME! 

HOW DID I GET HERE? 

THAT SCOUNDREL TIMOTHY MOORE, HE IS THE ONE WHO HAS TRAPPED ME HERE! 

HE INVITED ME OVER TO HIS NEW APARTMENT FOR A SUPPOSEDLY INNOCENT GAME OF PARCHEESI! 

HE DOES NOT EVEN HAVE PARCHEESI.

THEN HE PROCEEDED TO MEASURE MY SKULL AND THE LENGTH OF MY NECK. "WHY DO YOU DO THIS?" I ASKED. AND HE NODDED AND HE SAID, "YES, YES, THIS IS PERFECT!" 

WHAT INSANITY WAS AWAITING ME, I COULD NOT FORESEE! I WAS A TRUSTING MAN BACK THEN, AND I BELIEVED IN THE GOODNESS OF PEOPLE AND OF PARCHEESI!

"WHERE IS THE PARCHEESI GAME THAT YOU PROMISED ME?" I ASKED. 

"OH, IT IS COMING! I AM WAITING FOR IT TO BE DELIVERED!" HE SAID. 


PARCHEESI DELIVERED? I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HIM TO BE A LIAR RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT! 


AND THEN HE ASKED ME TO LIE ON A TABLE, WHERE HE STRAPPED MY ARMS AND MY LEGS! I WAS TRAPPED! 

HE THEN TOLD ME HIS AWFUL PLANS! 

"I WILL CREATE THE ULTIMATE BLOG," HE SAID. "THE BEST OF THE BLOGS! IT WILL BE BETTER THEN THE OTHER BLOGS WHICH WILL BE THE WORST ONES COMPARED TO MINE!" 

AND HOW WAS HE TO DO IT! BY TRAPPING ME INSIDE! 

HE WANTS TO HAVE THE FIRST HUMAN BLOG! BUT YOU CAN HELP ME! SEND FOR HELP! CALL THE POLICE! 

TELL THEM MY STORY BEFORE IT IS TOO -