Monday, October 3, 2011

I Am Cooler Than Your Best Friend


Your best friend is cool and all and knows a lot of interesting things, but there's no chance that they are cooler than me. You know this. I know this. Let's not pretend here.

Sure, they might be good at soccer, but do they know the TV show, Stella? Do they know the greatness of Michael, Michael, and David?

I bet your best friend doesn't even know who these guys are because your best friend is lame, they suck

Psh. Doubtful.

Do they know even know what a Quasar is?

What is a Quasar!? I know.

I do. And I would tell you too - if, well, you know.

Do they know at least ten Korean phrases? Because I know eleven.

Have they been to more then six states? Yeah right. Double that number.That's me.

How many friends do they have on Facebook? Just wondering. 'Cause I have 566. And counting. There's room for a best friend (just saying). 

There's a story I heard and it goes like this: A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a best friend will be sitting next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun!'

I am that friend in jail with you. Your current best friend is the one that will bail you out. Who is the better friend? I think I know (please reread the story again if you do not know).

I'm not saying I will do anything for you in order for you to become my best friend. No.

I will rob a bank with you, friend
I am saying I WILL COMMIT CRIMES WITH YOU AND GO TO PRISON WITH YOU (if you want).

(Just a thought).

Now. Since that is out of the way. I want you to look at your current best friend. Look at them closely, and ask yourself. Is this the best best friend I can have? Are they the coolest?

I think I know the answer already, but I'll let you figure it out first. I'll be waiting by the phone.