|This is your chance! Don't blow it!|
Only go to panels with famous authors. No matter what the panel is about, ask a question during the Q and A. Stand when you ask the question so they'll know you. Smile and use hand movements. The question should be longer than any possible answer. The question should, itself, be an answer. After your question, nod, but don't listen to what the authors say. Remain standing so people forget that you are not in the panel. When the panel ends, shake the famous author's hands, say you love their work, and then hand them all your manuscript!
|They all want to read your manuscript because it's wonderful!|
|Picture this: All of these tables selling your bestseller!|
Hand your manuscript to publishers. Hand your manuscript to agents. Hand your manuscript to that cute girl to impress her. Hand your manuscript to the man in the suit. Hand your manuscript to the man with the beard. Hand your manuscript to professors, current or former. Hand your manuscript to Dinty Moore.
|You: "Dinty Moore, will you read my manuscript?" Dinty Moore: "Yes!"|
Go to Dance Party Alcohol Readings because if famous authors are drinking alcohol they will be less resistant to taking your manuscript when you hand it to them.
|If you want to be a famous author you have to know how to dance, you dummy!|
Vomit in a ditch. Wander home. Do not eat. Do not sleep. Definitely do not read. Lie in your bed, with your phone next to your ear. Wait for it. The call. It will change your life. Think about your response. Think about the pause you'll give, feigning surprise, when you hear the voice in the darkness say, "I just read your manuscript. It has moved me to tears."