Tuesday, April 17, 2012

I've Just Finished Infinite Jest. You Haven't Read It? Oh.

I'm not saying I'm a better person after reading this book. I'm saying that I can say that I'm a person after reading this book. If you read it you would know what I mean, but you haven't. So...
Oh no, I'm not judging you. It's a really long, difficult book to read, you know? BUT IT'S SO WORTH IT. It's like...I was one person before I read the book. And when I was done, I was totally a different person. It's that type of book. So.

What's that? What's it about? What's it - I can't just say in one sentence what it's about, you know? It's not the type of book that you can say, this book is about: blankity blank blank. It's impossible, really. I - okay. How about this? It's about being a fucking human being. That's what this book is about. Yup. And I read it. The whole thing.

How many pages? Goodness - let me get it out here - yeah, I still carry it around, just in case I need to read some passages...let's see here - it's 981 pages. Kind of. 1,079 with the endnotes. Wait - you don't know about the endnotes? Sorry, didn't men to laugh so hard. Just trust me,when you do read this, if you do, just remember to read the endnotes, okay? They're really important. You'll see. It's hard at first, but your mind, like, freaking grows or something and it becomes second nature to like read with endnotes. I don't know if I can read another book that doesn't have them, even!

So what are you reading? Oh. Hunger Games. No, that's cool, it's cool. Yeah. Oh yeah? Kids fighting, huh? Oh, it deals with entertainment? Infinite Jest does too - but - oh no - it's not the same, no, no, no - not the same at all, really - oh God, no. Totally not that. I'm just saying. But, no, that's cool. Reading, right? They're like both books, so. Except Infinite Jest is like longer - and the words, see the words? It's, yeah. So small.

It's like, it's just that I would put Infinite Jest in one category and every other book in another. You know? It's just that important. Like, I couldn't even explain it to you, I'm sorry. I'm not judging, it's just, you know? Cold hard facts.

I don't know if we can be friends anymore.