Friday, April 27, 2012

Please, Pllllllleeeassssee Publish My Story? Okay?!?

How Can You Not Publish My Story With A Face Like This?!
Come on! Please publish my story?! I just would really like to be in your magazine now. I read the entire magazine - cover to cover and I loved it and please publish me please publish me please publish me! Please?! My story is like the best and such. And like, if you don't like it - I will totally change it - whatever you want - just - come on. Right? I will like totally change the protag - or whatever - just, take it, okay?! I need this.

If you published my story, I would totally tell my friends about your magazine and you would sell like 100 percent more of your magazine, my parents would buy ten issues themselves and give them to people at work and supermarkets and they would love it too because my story is just that good so please publish me please?! It'll really benefit me tremendously to get published. You don't even know. I would be SO happy and excited. I would take out my friends and drink and they would be like, "Tim, you're finally making it! You're finally in this magazine! I love this magazine!" and we would even cry, probably, but only because we're happy for me, they're such good friends!

Please publish me because if you publish me I will be your most dependable most important friend. Like if you ever need a favor, you need to move a couch or something, I would be there, I would be the first person there, to like move your couch or whatever, I won't even complain, even if it's heavy, it might be hard to lift, but I'll do it, I will move anything you need ever (if you publish me)! BTW - I saw your blog and read your blog and I thought it was sooooo funny! Haha - you are funny and smart and sexy too probably! If you publish me I would totally go out with you. We could like work together on my story and make it the best together and you could even be the co-writer, that's fine, I'm ready to share the story and anything else with you please publish me please, please?

Thank you for considering my submission.