Tuesday, January 29, 2013

This 100th Commemorative Blog Post

100 blog posts! 100 memories!
Now is the time. This 100th Commemorative Blog Post is unlike any blog post that has ever been posted. It has been crafted carefully by Indonesian artisans and painstakingly weaved together by the St. Allentown Senior Citizen's Weekend Choir, PA.

This 100th Commemorative Blog Post has been donated to charity and can be given at grocery stores in lieu of cash and food stamps.

This 100th Commemorative Blog Post has been brought to you by the color Nothing. By the nation of Zambia. And, of course, by the number 100.

The color Nothing
This 100th Commemorative Blog Post has the consistency of steel. If you bend it, your hands will bleed. If you kiss it your lips will stick to its rusty coat, and you will regret it, and may well lose your lips, or at least their careful sheen.

Warning: If you stare into this 100th Commemorative Blog Post, this 100th Commemorative Blog Post stares back into you. You will not be able to sleep. If you do sleep, you will not dream. Terror will follow you, always.

This 100th Commemorative Blog Post does not acknowledge other blog posts, including the other 99 blog posts that proceeded it in this very blog. This 100th Commemorative Blog Post denies even being a blog. It denies political affiliation, religion, and all other social constructs. It believes in love but only for justice.

Why so angry, This 100th Commemorative Blog Post?!
This 100th Commemorative Blog Post is angry all the time and doesn't know why. The other day, this 100th Commemorative Blog Post held the door open at the movie theater for a young family of three, and when they didn't say thank you, just kept walking, this 100th Commemorative Blog Post muttered, "fuckers" under their tired breath.

And just like that, their day was ruined.

This 100th Commemorative Blog Post sleeps in so late sometimes that it doesn't even bother putting on pants. This 100th Commemorative Blog Post will just say, "never mind," and "maybe tomorrow" and stay in bed, curled.

But don't pity them too much.

This 100th Commemorative Blog Post is special because it is a milestone. No matter what it does it will be remembered and it knows it. It's all numbers.

This has crippled this 100th Commemorative Blog Post's drive. Its capacity for greatness. Or so it believes.

"Now is the time" they always tell this 100th Commemorative Blog Post, but time for what? And does it even matter what? 

Or maybe these are not even the right questions, ponders this 100th Commemorative Blog Post, sipping its ice chai latte as it flirts halfheartedly with the cute redheaded barista at the corner Starbucks, leaning tamely against the bar. Maybe the real question should be: Why even bother?

The answer I'd give this 100th Commemorative Blog Post: We can all achieve greatness. Every single one of us has a chance.