Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Regarding my Debt


Now that I owe ABSURD AMOUNT, an amount that I can never ever pay off (ever), I have a new perspective on life, eternity, etc.

Should I name my Debt? If something is going to stay with you your whole life, shouldn't you name it?

When I date a girl, when do I have to tell her that I owe UNTHINKABLE AMOUNT? Is it like an STD (Sexually Transmitted Debt)? Is having Debt worse than Chlamydia? Or about the same?

Considering my OH MY GOD Debt, I have to come to terms that I will always owe. Even if I make (reasonable amount) in my lifetime, the INSURMOUNTABLE will be there, only growing.

When I picture my Debt I imagine:

"Hi, I'm Tim's Debt! Nice to meet you!" 
Now that I owe LAUGHABLE AMOUNT can I buy a home? How could I have spent so much money on one thing and not be able to live in it?

Can I pass on to my future children the Debt? Can I take them on a mountaintop and say, "All of this is yours?" and give them the bill? Can an inheritance be in the negative?

I want to do a Kickstarter where I ask people to pay my Debt. When someone contributes $100 dollars, I'll send them a note saying, "Thanks for paying my Debt." When someone contributes $1,000 dollars, I'll send them a note saying, "Thanks for paying my Debt." $5 dollars gets you nothing, though I will still take the money.

Here's the deal: My whole generation has been trained to go to college no matter what. So we went to college no matter what. Debt is an inevitability. Debt is our new constant. Debt will outlive most marriages, any one of your pets, and probably the polar ice caps.

What will become of a generation that invests in Debt instead of homes and cars?

I seriously want to know where all of this is going.

If I could hold my Debt it would be more real to me. BUT if I could hold my Debt it would weigh as much as a:

Believe me, Neutron Stars weigh A LOT. 
I will never pay off my FOREVER Debt. I have realized that. Now comes understanding. Acceptance. And finding ways to pay as little as possible until my Debt outlives me.